Dicktators are so desperate to be invited to the party, they will enthusiastically vandalize society for their beloved Douchebag Overlords.

Dicktators are very focussed and self-serving and they love manufactured conflicts that keep attention away from the real problem. The most powerful Dicktators operate in the elite world of warmongering. In fact, the term Dicktator was coined to honor one of these special Dicks.

The common Dicktator tells boys not to cry. Tells men they can’t wear pink. Make fun of you if you enter a woman-dominated field. Communicate to you that you are less if you do not buy something from them.

A Dicktator thinks you are contemptible and sub-human while pretending to be your friend.

Dicktators have found a clever way to limit the scope of masculinity at an extreme place in the gender spectrum. Surely Dicktators are annoying first-hand, but they are mostly invasive in the world of advertisement and marketing. What they are doing is trying to sell you a subscription to ‘the promise of sex’ at every turn. One day I will blow the lid off the ‘Seduction Industrial Complex’ but for now, all you need to know is that the dicktator must gaslight you into a permanent place of helplessness.

It may be hard to spot Dicktators sometimes. They have the glamour down pat and they excel at the industry of seduction. Those very pretty women who winks at you sexily to sell you everything? They were hired by a Dicktator. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. The people who decided that all models should be Photoshopped into caricatures of themselves in magazines? Dicktators. That pick up artist who passes along dubious and unsustainable techniques to trick girls into liking you? Total Dicktator.

There was a time when I was rather amused by using Donald Trumps risible style of dicktatoring. Today it no longer holds the charm that it used to because Trump is given a daily platform to vandalize society while everything else goes un-addressed. But Trump remains an excellent example of a dicktator.

Another brilliant depiction of the Dicktator is Uncle Pete. Alan Alda’s depiction of the current owner of the bar ‘Horace and Pete’ in Louis C.K.’s independent show is a tour de force. Louis C.K.’s work never fails to bring me to tears because it depicts humanity quite correctly. We are at a special time in history where there is a chasm between people who learned about humanity the hard way (growing up in analog time) and people who are guessing humanity using only the “Weird News” page of the world (that’s the current flavour of social media if you didn’t guess). Through ‘Horace and Pete’ we can get to know characters who are stuck in a Stockholm Syndrome with their lifelong toxic relatives. The show also features characters who have grown a backbone and plainly refuse this relationship.

Dicktators place themselves at the crossroads of every aspect of life and will silence you, demean you and do everything in their power to keep you down. Normally, the violence of these efforts is directly linked to the difference between your potential and their  mediocrity. Some Dicktators occupy actual positions of power, but many don’t. They are just a societal nuissance that one has to circumvent. You will encounter lots of Dicktators in your life but life makes little bit more sense once you are on to their tricks!