As summers go, 2016 has been a rather shitty one and I am not just talking about the composition of Olympic water here. This is the first year after the official death of news. As the #Trumpocalypse nears, we take a break to look at a phenomenon rarely explored: The end of dolthood.

Dolthood is a very special time in an American heterosexual white boy’s life. Not all young men go through this blissful phase, some boys simply become adults as soon as possible. Permadolescence is a state of mind while dolthood is an active lifestyle, a sport really. The dolt is forged in an oven where absence of understanding of how the world works is amalgamated with an attitude of boastful confidence. If you are so lucky as to be able to leverage your insouciance and revel in the sweet spot of young adulthood, you may be encouraged via positive re-enforcement for clownish behavior whether at work or play.

The Boys Will Be Boys Industrial Complex has your back whether you piss all over the land that welcomes you or you rape the unconscious woman that didn’t.

Certain characteristics enhance dolthood such as socio-economic independence, fame and handsomeness. A daft, dumb or sheltered dolt can be endearing as a non-threatening younger version of his older peers, supervisor or boss. Dolts are tools of entertainment. As such, dolts are mostly useful to those who don’t have to pick up after them. The Boys Will Be Boys Industrial Complex has your back whether you piss all over the land that welcomes you or you rape the unconscious woman that didn’t.

The most obvious example, in modern society, of the dolt is Ryan Lotche who has been a beloved spectacle of dolthood as America’s second best swimmer for about a decade. The following article written about Ryan Lotche is everything and stands on its own. Even TV shows have been made about his adolescent ways. His apparent daftness is celebrated in a strange way.

Washington Post: “Ryan Lochte is the dumbest bell that ever rang. The 32-year-old swimmer is so landlocked in juvenility that he pulled an all-nighter with guys young enough to call him uncle.

After taking younger peers on a destructive cavalcade, it would appear that Lotche misrepresented what happened to them and, in doing so, not only committed a crime but smeared an entire nation. In a rather generous move the IOC has characterized the events as “Boys having fun”. And therein lies a huge problem: Ryan Lotche is 32, and the oldest of his acolytes, by far.

The bitter end of dolthood is when the world around you decides that they will no longer support your childish behavior and start reacting to it in a negative way. This is most devastating in a work setting where I see it happening around 24 or 25. Suddenly realizing that nobody needs his juvenile shenanigans anymore is devastating to the dolt.

Lotche has made serious bank from his dolt image. In fact, he appeals to both men and women as the proverbial dumb jock. How will this play out for him? Will he seek to restore his reputation and grow up to be an adult now? Or will he ride the wave of dolthood into a laughable forced permadolescence into his 40s?

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